Are you Selfish?

There is something to be said about selfishness. Society seems to tell us that it’s okay to “Look out for Number One.” For once I agree with society.

Before you say that I’ve truly gone off the deep end, I have never been opposed to helping someone. It’s my life’s work to help people achieve their dreams. Unfortunately we live in a world where people tend to take advantage of that.

When you’re trying to get where you’re going, or achieve your ultimate goal, you would expect that people would want to help you in the manner that you would help them. Unfortunately, these kinds of people are rare. The truth is the average person will only do just enough to help you. This means that you have no choice but to rely on God and yourself as the two main sources of achieving your dreams.

As a speaker, I’ve gotten help from people who have truly had my best interests at heart. Some of those people were relative strangers to me. They must have seen something in me that compelled them to lend their assistance, or recommendations, or their forums to me. My “friends” (in most cases, not all) didn’t lift a finger, but wished me “luck”.

There are people that I have bent over backwards to help. From introducing them to powerful people, to interviewing them on air when no one else would give them any media exposure, I believed I was being a true friend. Unfortunately, when I looked for them to return the favor in one way or another, I learned that for some people, “true friendship” only went one way: towards them!

Who do I blame for being taken advantage of by those that I’ve helped over the years? The answer is simple: I’m to blame. I blame myself for believing that because I treat people the way that I expect to be treated, people would do the same. It’s my fault for being the kind of person who would assume that.

Here’s something that I feel is crazy: why would you change the tire of someone else, before taking care of the four flat tires of your car that sits collecting dust in your own garage? Most people wouldn’t, because it doesn’t make any sense! Honestly, you come to a person’s aid faster if your car is perfectly tuned up and your tires are securely inflated.

I heard Iyanla Vanzant say that it’s important to “give to yourself until your cup runneth over, and then give to others from the overflow.” You can do a lot more for people when you’ve established yourself. When you don’t have worries, you can help others eliminate their worries more effectively.

This is not a “woe is me” blog entry. It is also not a call for you to be selfish all of the time. I’m asking you to focus on becoming the best you that you know how to be, so that you can be a complete Giving Machine! I’m challenging you to be thankful to those who have helped you, because they are truly under no obligation to do so.

If you help someone, and they don’t return the favor, look for the karmic favor that comes from your good deeds. It might be advisable for you to leave that person alone, an associate yourself with people who will appreciate things you do out of the kindness of your heart. The last thing I want to do is become a bitter, negatively selfish person.

I will never stop giving, because giving to others feels good. I will be more cautious about people who are not willing to return the favor. The worst people I have ever encountered who aren’t willing to help themselves. Send me an e-mail and tell me what you think! My e-mail address is David@Davidempowerment.com