There is something to be said about selfishness. Society seems to tell us that it’s okay to “Look out for Number One.” For once I agree with society.
Before you say that I’ve truly gone off the deep end, I have never been opposed to helping someone. It’s my life’s work to help people achieve their dreams. Unfortunately we live in a world where people tend to take advantage of that.
When you’re trying to get where you’re going, or achieve your ultimate goal, you would expect that people would want to help you in the manner that you would help them. Unfortunately, these kinds of people are rare. The truth is the average person will only do just enough to help you. This means that you have no choice but to rely on God and yourself as the two main sources of achieving your dreams.
As a speaker, I’ve gotten help from people who have truly had my best interests at heart. Some of those people were relative strangers to me. They must have seen something in me that compelled them to lend their assistance, or recommendations, or their forums to me. My “friends” (in most cases, not all) didn’t lift a finger, but wished me “luck”.
There are people that I have bent over backwards to help. From introducing them to powerful people, to interviewing them on air when no one else would give them any media exposure, I believed I was being a true friend. Unfortunately, when I looked for them to return the favor in one way or another, I learned that for some people, “true friendship” only went one way: towards them!
Who do I blame for being taken advantage of by those that I’ve helped over the years? The answer is simple: I’m to blame. I blame myself for believing that because I treat people the way that I expect to be treated, people would do the same. It’s my fault for being the kind of person who would assume that.
Here’s something that I feel is crazy: why would you change the tire of someone else, before taking care of the four flat tires of your car that sits collecting dust in your own garage? Most people wouldn’t, because it doesn’t make any sense! Honestly, you come to a person’s aid faster if your car is perfectly tuned up and your tires are securely inflated.
I heard Iyanla Vanzant say that it’s important to “give to yourself until your cup runneth over, and then give to others from the overflow.” You can do a lot more for people when you’ve established yourself. When you don’t have worries, you can help others eliminate their worries more effectively.
This is not a “woe is me” blog entry. It is also not a call for you to be selfish all of the time. I’m asking you to focus on becoming the best you that you know how to be, so that you can be a complete Giving Machine! I’m challenging you to be thankful to those who have helped you, because they are truly under no obligation to do so.
If you help someone, and they don’t return the favor, look for the karmic favor that comes from your good deeds. It might be advisable for you to leave that person alone, an associate yourself with people who will appreciate things you do out of the kindness of your heart. The last thing I want to do is become a bitter, negatively selfish person.
I will never stop giving, because giving to others feels good. I will be more cautious about people who are not willing to return the favor. The worst people I have ever encountered who aren’t willing to help themselves. Send me an e-mail and tell me what you think! My e-mail address is David@Davidempowerment.com
When I was a kid my parents were sticklers or manners. I distinctly remember my grandmother always telling me “Mind your manners. Always say please and thank you, and never be afraid to ask for help.” I learned very early on that there is power in “Please” and “Thank You”.
The older I get, the more shocked I become at how very little people use manners on a regular basis. We complain about society, but do very little to uplift it. Not much has changed since I was a kid. People still make fun of the kid who goes to class and get straight A’s, while praising the person who cuts class, smokes weed, and acts as if he was raised in a jungle, devoid of human contact. We complain about the problems but do very little solve them ourselves.
When was last time you said hello or thank you to the bus driver? When was the last time you were at a restaurant, called your waitress or server by name and told him how much you appreciate them for serving you? Okay. Maybe you’re not ready to take on the whole humanitarian thing so let’s start a little bit more locally. When’s the last time you told your significant other, your child, your brother or sister, or your parents that she loved them? That you truly appreciate their contributions to your life on this earth, and how you would not be who you are without them?
Let me say this again: there is Power in going above and beyond the call of duty to treat people right. There is power in recognizing that you didn’t get to where you are by yourself. Think about how good you feel when you get an award at your job. Imagine how good someone feels to know that you keep them in high regard when it comes to your life. You could literally change the course of someone’s direction in life by giving them some kind words. You never know what someone else is going through, just because they smile on the outside.
I would be very honest with you: there are days when I don’t feel like being motivational. There are times when I don’t want to tell people positive things. There are days where I don’t want to face the world. When I was in that hospital bed I was in so much pain at all a wanted to do was curl up and die. I felt like a prisoner trapped in my own body. I never told my family how bad I felt, simply because I didn’t want them to worry unnecessarily. How often do we suffer silently because we’re afraid to ask for help?
The Bible says “You have not because you ask not”. To put it another way, my grandmother used to say, “Closed mouths don’t get fed.” If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask. It may be common sense, but you’d be surprised to learn that Many people fail to use it. If you’re in trouble, tell your friends, tell your family, and tell Those that you trust. Forget embarrassment. That’s what friends and family are for!
I need some help! I’m looking for new opportunities to speak. I believe I have a message that can and will transform more lives! Do you know an organization, school, or Church who could benefit from hearing me speak? Have them e-mail me immediately at David@Davidempowerment.com I will be sure to say thank you and give you a commission from any fee I receive. There is indeed Power in asking for help. There’s greater Power in giving it. If there’s some way I can help you feel free to e-mail me and I will be happy to assist you.
The only way to make this world better, is for us to help each other. I hope these blogs are helping you in some small way.